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Life Coach?
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I’m looking for a life coach, ideally one who lives in the area who I can meet with in person at least sometimes, do any of you have recommendations?
I (36M) have been feeling aimless for the last few years. I have a grad degree and an okay income, but don’t have purpose, fulfillment in work or my platonic relationships, and am single. I thought by now I’d be at the usual - partnered, 2.5 kids and the picket fence, but none of that has happened. I work remote so finding mentorship career wise is tough, and I also have a family situation such that my folks can’t provide guidance that would be helpful.
While I’m trying to not lament the above (they’re still first world problems), I do want to control what I can control and be proactive in heading in a direction that I actually want. I just don’t know what I want (!!)
I was surprised to search this sub for life coaching threads and found none so... here we are. Any help to the ends of finding a coach is appreciated. Thanks in advance!
Top Comment: Therapy is much better than a life coach.
IsItBullshit: Life Coaching
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Ten years ago there was a peep show episode where Jez became a life coach, the implicit meaning was that life coaching was a bit of a joke and a false vocation.
But now it seems to be a huge industry and everyone is becoming a life coach.
A guy came up to me at work to try sell me his services, he seemed confident he could help my business thrive, but if that’s the case why isn’t he doing the same?
Top Comment: Whilst I can imagine that there's certainly an industry for positive affirmation, life coaching, encouragement, etc I can only give you my experience. A few years ago I was having a tough time at work and my manager noticed that I was struggling so suggested that I go to a life coach. Even spoke to HR for me and helped the process along. I spoke to the life coach for 30 mins and they immediately said that what I was telling them was way too complicated for them and referred me to a psychiatrist. I can see the benefit in life coaches, but for anything remotely serious I'd say that any benefits that they spout is bullshit and you should seek help from someone with qualifications, ethical guidelines, and regulation.
I worked with a life coach, here's my experience
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TLDR: I'm glad I decided to work with a coach because that's how I learn best - someone keeping me accountable for the changes I need to make. Also, it's helpful to have a different perspective on your insecurities and realize they've all been fed to you. I notice a common theme coaches help you work on is cutting the bullshit chatter in your mind and living life from your intuition and gut feelings, which is your "highest self" (I.e. the "you" that isn't ego-driven and doesn't give into insecurities). Group coaching is pretty cool because you get to meet new people who are on your level and want to make a change in their lives too - it's easier to open up to strangers vs people you already know who may judge you or not want you to change. There are so many different types of coaches out there such as 1:1 or group coaching and they all bring different things to the table. Lastly, I feel like all the self-help books make way more sense and resonate more. Before, I was just reading them and taking bits and pieces that resonated, but now i'm realizing they're all saying the same thing - you get to decide who you want to be and here are some conscious or sub-conscious things that might be holding you back.
The reason I wrote this post is to tell people who are struggling that help is out there and they should definitely consider it if they feel very lost and alone. Please don't waste any more time, time will never come back.
How to find a coach: ask friends, Yelp, Google, Instagram, referrals etc. I found one coach through a referral, another through Yelp, and my newest one on Instagram. You can start following coaches that relate to you on social and see who vibes with you.
Certification: Honestly, I looked into certifications and it doesn't really mean much. I didn't check to see if my coaches had a certification because I realize life experience/referrals were enough for me to know if someone was good - anyone can get a certification.
Hey friends. I wanted to share my experience about working with 2 life coaches in the past 2 years and now i'm on my third coach. If you asked me about life coaching a couple of years ago, I would have said "uhh, no thanks, I can figure my shit out on my own". However, in 2020 I kind of got to my wits end: I lacked motivation, I was always sleepy, my income wasn't where I wanted it to be, I had major issues with money, I would stress eat, I would feel envious of others, I would get offended easily, I would lash out, I would get hurt by others easily, I cared way too much about what people would think, I was a people pleaser, and all this while I was trying to start a business. At the time, I thought I wanted a business coach to help me figure out how to do the "left brain" side of business. I remember talking to a friend who hired a business coach and asking her how it was going. She felt so-so about her business coach, but she also was working with a spiritual awakening coach (nothing to do with religion). She told me her mind was blown. I was intrigued. The price tag was a bit high for me, so I kind of wrote it off. A few weeks later, my friend messaged me and told me the coach was doing a virtual talk and Q&A if I wanted to learn more about her and the program. I ended up showing up - it's free, why not? The coach definitely caught my attention. This specific coach was focused on women and was nailing everything I was going through (the stuff I listed above). It was group coaching, so I was a bit unsure, but I said screw it, let me try. The money part was a bit uneasy for me to digest, but honestly, I would probably spend that same amount of money overtime on clothes, eating out, drinks, travel etc.
I started the program and it was with 15 other women in my demographic and right off the bat everyone was so vulnerable. Everyone felt safe in this space to share whatever they were struggling with and I knew I was in the right spot. I no longer felt alone. I made 15 very close friends all from my computer during quarantine - that in itself was pretty magical. Our coach would cover a different topics every week (body, money, family etc) and we would talk about it. Some girls would be on a "hot seat" and we'd all learn from her experience. This is when I realized group coaching was pretty cool - we're all going through the same shit, but with different characters. The program was 8 weeks long and fast forward... I thought I just did a decade of therapy to sort through all my shit. What I love about the "coaching" part is you get your process the stuff you've been through, but the coach makes you take action to help you move forward and be the person you want to be.
End result of first program: higher confidence, new friends, quit my job and decided to focus 100% on my business (doubled my income by going on my own), cut out toxic people out of my life, learned how to respond to shitty people with grace, learned how to take up space and use my voice, learned what I needed to shed - especially stuff my parents passed down to me, processed my past, worked on self-forgiveness and realized my power as a woman.
Re: cost - I'm glad I invested that money in myself. I've been working on my money issues and seeing how investing in myself helped me make more money is evidence in itself that I was viewing money in the wrong way before.
In 2021, I starting working with an "Intuitive Business Coach" to help me figure out my business. I had a slow month and it was taking a toll on me. I was falling back into bad habits of self-judgement and talking down to myself. My gut said to search for the word "intuitive" because that's how I wanted to run my business (vs following a set of rules). I searched on Yelp and found my lady. She helped me master my mind and deeply connect with my intuition. This type of coaching was all about "thought" - understanding the chatter in my head is just bullshit chatter and it doesn't really help. Example: I would talk myself out of getting out of bed and waking up early - but she reminded me this was all mental chatter - the real conscious me can just ignore the chatter and get up. It was pretty interesting. After working with her, I realized how to use my mind to my advantage. I could choose not to feed certain thoughts as soon as they came into my mind. I was more aware of what I would think. I would say "more please" to the good thoughts or "no thanks" to the bad the ones. This was life-changing to understand - I am not my thoughts, but here's how I can use thoughts to my advantage. Working with her helped me let go of expectation and trust my gut when it comes to my business. As much as it was about business coaching, it was for my life too.
I had an epiphany the other month that I want to pay it forward and help coach others who are stuck in their heads. I've been responding to a lot of posts here, but I realized the only reason i'm able to help is because I got the help, so I wanted to share my experience.
Feel free to ask my anything :)
Top Comment: How much did it cost you? How about if someone is broke with no help (most people leave once they know you are broke)
ELI5: What does a 'Life Coach' do?
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Self explanatory.
I see Life Coaches advertised sometimes, don't have a clear idea of what they do.
Top Comment: Technically, a life coach is a general purpose counselor for people who are stuck on something in life to help them clarify goals and put together a game plan for how to lead a better life moving forward. That said, they can sometimes specialize in certain areas like career or dating. There are also a lot of influencers who act like life coaches and refer to themselves as such. Think self-help book but as a person. The benefit of these guys is usually that their content is readily available, general, and cheap/free, but still presented with an intention to help. (whether it's actually helpful depends on the quality and integrity of the actual influencer)
The Life Coaching Industry’s Big Problem
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Some of today’s highest achievers in business, sports, and entertainment advocate for the utility of coaching—from Bill Gates to Oprah Winfrey to Leonardo DiCaprio to Serena Williams. Hundreds of stories have covered our booming industry, admiring the extent to which coaching can help transform lives and careers.
But no matter how many feel-good stories circulate, the industry faces a glaring problem that doesn’t get enough media attention: People just don’t trust coaching.
It’s the reason r/LifeCoachSnark sees more engagement than this subreddit. It’s also the reason there’s a lively Quora thread with 40 answers debating the question: “Is life coaching a scam?”
It sucks to see. But coaches today must act like marketers, and marketers need to face the realities of the space they are playing in. The data makes it brutally clear that there’s some kind of “dark side” to the industry that turns people off.
Why the Bad Reputation?
You can’t practice as a psychologist without a PhD.
You can’t practice as a lawyer without passing the bar.
You can’t practice as a doctor without an MD.
But you CAN practice as a life coach...without anything. In fact, if I decided in this moment that I was a life coach, who would stop me?
Herein lies the crux of the problem. Coaching is still the Wild Wild West, marred by a lack of standardization and regulation. Yes, ICF certifications help. Platforms that vet coaches help. But these remedies don’t fully rid the public of distrust and skepticism.
Unregulated markets create plenty of shady places to make a buck. And it affects coaches and clients alike. We’ve got coaches targeting other coaches, falsely promising business growth... Self help gurus bending the truth about their past (i.e. most recently, Jay Shetty)... Coaches promising unrealistic outcomes to clients who don’t know any better... Things can get predatory, particularly in a space where people are vulnerable and need support.
My takeaway from it all: The poison ultimately lies in select bad apples spoiling the bunch. Most coaches I know are legitimate, helpful, reasonable people who make a real difference in their clients’ lives.
Rising Above the Problem
First, to state the obvious, don’t be one of those coaches. Instead, be hyper-aware of the fears, concerns, and doubts that may challenge your prospective clients. Then, be hyper-self-aware to operate your business with the utmost integrity.
An under appreciated source of success for coaches is the ability to evoke trust and authenticity—both during the sales process and throughout coaching engagements. Here are some pro tips on how to achieve that.
1. Don’t be too eager
The truth is, you are NOT the right coach for every single person who walks through your door. It may be exciting to chat with a new lead, but your go-to stance should always be, “I only take on new clients when I’m confident it will be a win-win.”
2. Pricing transparency
Nothing good comes from hiding your pricing. If you haven’t taken the time to document your pricing, packages, discounts, and offers, it’s worth doing ASAP. Create a document, a slide, or a page on your website and leave no questions for your prospective clients.
3. Guarantee with caution
Can you really guarantee anything in the coaching space? Every client is different. Some may love your service, some may not. Speak with confidence about the outcomes you’ve helped drive for other clients, but avoid promising the same to others.
4. Don’t “fake it till you make it”
You hear this term in every industry. Ignore it. Do the work to get educated, certified, and/or trained to provide a great service, without the need to fake anything. In an industry that has trust issues, fakers perpetuate the problem!
5. Engagement policies
What happens at the end of your client’s initial coaching term? What’s the process for continuing? For cancellation? What can you do as a coach to avoid locking people into engagements they want to leave while still operating as a real business that requires some level of contractual commitment?
6. Consider a certification
While a certification is not required to practice as a coach, it’s the best we’ve got for now. Generally, it’s best to avoid programs that are run by individuals. Instead, opt for a certification from a trusted institution. For example, the ICF has built a solid reputation as a legitimate credentialing body. While certifications can be expensive, they give you credibility, training, and trust from market participants.
Hope this is helpful for some of you!
Top Comment: You're not wrong. I'm studying to be a certified coach, but I'm honestly put off by the amount of BS I see in the industry. Even my course, which is by a reputable provider, taught DISC profiling in one module, completely ignoring how it's complete pseudo-science and should not be offered by any professional coach. There's just too much mumbo-jumbo in the industry, and I feel like a lot of coaches kind of prey on people who are in a vulnerable place in life, promising that with enough effort and the power of positive thinking, everything can change. I'm also really struggling with the idea that everyone should want to be a better and more successful version of themselves, because in my experience letting go of your ideas about who you should be and instead focusing on self-acceptance is the way to go. I feel like I'm supposed to coach people to be successful within a capitalist system, but the system is rigged and will never let you be content with who you are and what you have right now. What I would really like to coach people on is loving their true selves and the life they already have, not selling them illusions about who they can be and what they can have in life. But I don't feel like there's room for coaches like me in the industry.
I'm a Full-Time Life Coach - Ask Me Anything : r/lifecoaching
Main Post: I'm a Full-Time Life Coach - Ask Me Anything : r/lifecoaching
New to life coaching, how much do I pay?
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Hello, I recognize the value of life coaching and I found someone but they charge about two $250-$300 an hour. I’m an older student changing careers and getting back into grad school hopefully. I found someone to help me navigate through all this that’s going on personally and career wise. This person told me to make an offer that is fair and it would not necessarily be pro-bono but at a reduced rate.
I don’t want to lowball this person. In the other hand I’m a student and have little discretionary income. I will be willing to pick up more work just to be able to afford this. What is a reasonable amount to offer?
Top Comment: I would encourage you to do a connection session with this person before paying anything. Is their style and approach working for you, are they legit. Also check out their credentials, insurance, background etc There are other people around and some may even do this pro-bono. This is one search criteria at https://apps.coachingfederation.org/eweb/CCFDynamicPage.aspx?webcode=ccfsearch&site=icfapp
I am thinking of becoming a life coach, am I too young to start?
Main Post: I am thinking of becoming a life coach, am I too young to start?
Top Comment: Credentials are great, bit unfortunately life coaching requires experience. Give yourself 5 or 10 more years and it will be a perfect field for you.
Hi! Where do you find life coaches? + Anyone have advice ...
Main Post: Hi! Where do you find life coaches? + Anyone have advice ...